It Will Destroy You
So I generally struggle with titles, and tend to avoid them rather than force them. If it comes naturally and fits then I am all for it otherwise I stick with more of a sequence of descriptions, dates or numbers in a series. And don’t try to give me that shit about anything is a “title” bullshit, save it for art school. Anyways this one has a title and a bit of writing I did that suits it, so if you feel like delving into the dribble of a madman then knock yourself out.
There is a common idea, misconception, stereotype whatever you want to call it about mind alteration and art. But like many stereotypes and misconceptions there does lye a glimmer of truth. The tortured artist, however in reality the artist is ultimately tortured by themselves. There are many different ways in which the "torture" occurs, but what I'm going to say is solely about the torture that is inflicted through substance abuse.
Are you more creative when under the influence? The answer is pretty hypothetical, and probably includes a heavy dose of narcissism. However the effects of your chosen poison do “loosen” your mind and your reality. I will not say frees your mind as many would, because freedom implies escape. And while the substance may seem to provide an escape it is really just providing a cage outside of your current perceived cage. Freedom also implies an escape from consequences. And I think we all know by now that freedom isn't "free" there is always consequences.
And consequences are what ultimately tortures the artist with regards to substance abuse.
With whatever it is you are on, you probably find yourself more "creative", for a while at least. Your inhibitions are laxed, your perception of morals, good, bad, what's up and what's down are all in flux as you are no longer constrained by the anxiety of over thinking. So yes for a time you are more creative, you are outside of your box. And I say your box because it is exactly that, it is your box, it is your life, and everyone has their own box.
And the thing about your box is that you have a symbiotic relationship with it, it Is your life and you need it to survive as much as it needs you to exist.
So the longer you are outside of your box the more everything within it suffers. Your relationships, your dreams, goals and your mind. Ideas flow free and great ideas come and go but as time goes on you find yourself forgetting more than you are remembering. And while your inspiration may come from being outside of the box your art lives in your box. So it too sufferers, and in the end along with your mind will die.
So yes the torture is consequences, so while your substance may grant you a heightened sense of perception or a creative edge temporarily, and it is temporary, in comparison with your lifespan. In the end the consequence is that it will destroy you.
It Will Destroy You - Cliche Verre print created from a 4x5" colour negative exposed directly to three layered plates